The last few months have been brutal for me. Writing has taken a second seat. I am hoping to dive back into the writing as my life enters a new phase.
My world has changed. My father entered the hospital in November, and did not come home. On the 27th he passed away. Meanwhile, my dog, Daisy, had been losing weight. Both the vet and I thought it was due to the passing of my dad, whom she saw on a daily basis. Little did we realize Daisy, too, was ill. It became a challenge to find Daisy something she would eat, and then the weekend of my birthday in February, she began coughing - I thought she would throw up with the force of her coughs. So in the middle of a blizzard I drove her to the vet. On the way, I was rear-ended and my bike rack and hitch, plus the bumper of my car were totaled. I am currently waiting for my repair date in April.
Once at the vet, the vet said Daisy didn't have an infection, so x-rays and blood tests were ordered. By the time I left the vet, I was shell shocked. Daisy had an enlarged heart and fluid in her lungs (hence the panting she had been doing, which I thought was caused by her winter coat). Medications were started, and she rallied enough to go for one last, lovely walk down our rail trail. I was thrilled the meds were working. However, after that day, she spiraled downhill. Her breathing became very laboured, and she wanted out in the wee hours of the morning - she tried to hide behind the shed, I think, to find a place to die. It began raining, so in my housecoat with an umbrella in hand, I fetched her back into the house and dried her off. Instead of her usual trip through the living room, she made a beeline for my bed, and spent 2 hours with me. It was an agonizing 2 hours as I waited for the vet to open at 8:00 am. I suspect she actually had a heart attack while she was with me. The vet had me bring her in, and my brother drove us over.
I came home without her...
The house is silent...
Life goes on, and now I am adjusting to these two major losses in my life. I am starting to regain focus. It's hard, but I know it will get easier. I am happy that I am in the middle of a story. It will give me something that will redirect my thoughts.
My world has changed. My father entered the hospital in November, and did not come home. On the 27th he passed away. Meanwhile, my dog, Daisy, had been losing weight. Both the vet and I thought it was due to the passing of my dad, whom she saw on a daily basis. Little did we realize Daisy, too, was ill. It became a challenge to find Daisy something she would eat, and then the weekend of my birthday in February, she began coughing - I thought she would throw up with the force of her coughs. So in the middle of a blizzard I drove her to the vet. On the way, I was rear-ended and my bike rack and hitch, plus the bumper of my car were totaled. I am currently waiting for my repair date in April.
Once at the vet, the vet said Daisy didn't have an infection, so x-rays and blood tests were ordered. By the time I left the vet, I was shell shocked. Daisy had an enlarged heart and fluid in her lungs (hence the panting she had been doing, which I thought was caused by her winter coat). Medications were started, and she rallied enough to go for one last, lovely walk down our rail trail. I was thrilled the meds were working. However, after that day, she spiraled downhill. Her breathing became very laboured, and she wanted out in the wee hours of the morning - she tried to hide behind the shed, I think, to find a place to die. It began raining, so in my housecoat with an umbrella in hand, I fetched her back into the house and dried her off. Instead of her usual trip through the living room, she made a beeline for my bed, and spent 2 hours with me. It was an agonizing 2 hours as I waited for the vet to open at 8:00 am. I suspect she actually had a heart attack while she was with me. The vet had me bring her in, and my brother drove us over.
I came home without her...
The house is silent...
Life goes on, and now I am adjusting to these two major losses in my life. I am starting to regain focus. It's hard, but I know it will get easier. I am happy that I am in the middle of a story. It will give me something that will redirect my thoughts.
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